Delete: MTV's Next

It's Friday afternoon, with nothing to do I turn on the tube and flip through the channels coming only to the 6 hr Next marathon on MTV. The concept seems entertaining enough, 5 boys/girls get on a bus only to be rejected by some cretin who has been empowered to decide with whom to romantically swap venereal diseases.

"Lyke Hi I'm KATRINA I'm 19 And I'm not gonna get nexted because with these tits, no one will notice my herpes!"



While one person is off the Next bus trying to win over the man/woman of his/her dreams, the rest of the players are stuck on the bus...bored...lonely...horny. Ultimately the bus situation turns into a semi-erotic soft-core porn situation, where everyone is daring each other to tongue kiss, or play with Katrina's prosthetic nipples.

Who the hell writes the dialogue for this show? I'd like to shake his hand, and then you know, give him a good beating. And why does everything rhyme? And why does every douche bag on this show seem like the archetypal illustration of every man from Orange County? And why am I still watching this?

Like a contagious infection this show somehow always finds itself onto our television sets. Don't lie, you love watching life on the Next bus.. now pardon me while I pop some more anti-depressants.

Delete.