Delete: Bridezillas

I don't care that you're getting married and you feel that it is the most important event in the history of mankind. For the rest of the world, you are nothing more than an extremely unpleasant blip on the radar. My BAT MITZVAH was more of a social concern than your marital ceremony.

Your poor husband, I suppose he can plan on never getting another blowjob, Bridezilla the BEAST is not a philanthropist.

Bridezillas, you know who you are, the crazy bitch that screams at the caterers for overcooking the bacon wrapped dates, and the woman who contemplates homicide when the cake is the wrong shade of "ocean breeze" turquoise.

I have an idea, why don't you take that overwhelming self righteousness and marry one of those life-like sex dolls. It's the best of both worlds, not only do you have a husband that will listen to you talk for hours on end, but you can have sex whenever you want and never have to give up the remote control when your favorite episode of "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" is on!!!!!!!!

Delete.