Monday, June 22, 2009

Delete: Genital Herpes Commercials


It's dinner time. As I sit down to eat, I turn on the news to see what's going on in the world, as many of us usually do. About to take a bite into my perfectly constructed roast beef sandwich, "I have genital herpes" blaring from multiply voices as the commercial for Valtex comes on...somehow this sandwich is no longer appetizing.

It seems that Valtrex and medications for other various venereal ailments are most advertised during prime time television viewing hours. A swift kick in the ass after a long work day. The last thing anyone wants to hear is that most people have genital herpes, got it from their partner, and as their crotch area is festering away they are not even aware of the POTENTIALLY SEVERE CONSEQUENCES to the result of their sexual irresponsibilities.

The people I feel most sorry for are the sorry bastards that actually opt to be a part of these godforsaken advertisements. I imagine this conversation between aspiring Los Angeles actors:

"Waiter/Actor #1: ...Yeah, I have been talking to my agent, but prospects are looking grim for being cast in anything substancial.
Waiter/Actor #2: Actually, I was in a commercial recently. It's no big deal but they run it on prime time shows, CNN, you know... I get some good visibility.
#1: Really!? That's Great! What for?!
#2: *whispers under breath* ..Valtrex.
#1:
Valtrex? What? I couldn't hear you..
#2: *frustrated* yeah VALTREX THE MEDICATION FOR GENITAL HERPES.
#1:
oh MAN! hahahaha no WONDER you haven't landed a date in the past 6 months!"
Poor bastards. And then you wonder, do the people in these commercials actually suffer from herpes? or were they just desperate enough to take the first job that fell in between their legs?

The artistic flare that comes along with these commericals is an attempt to mask the true misfortune behind the advertisement's message. I wish they would address the elephant in the living room, rather than trying to cover it with black/white filters and cunningly artistic editing techniques.

I'd appreciate a more honest approach: "IF YOU HAVE HERPES AND LIFE IS GETTING YOU DOWN, take VALTREX and maybe people will trust your sexual judgement and sleep with you once again!"

Delete.

1 comment:

  1. OK--I am blog cruising @ 5am--but get this; I was in my office with a friend when some skank comes in to brag about her new man, some Navy doctor, "And they have soooooooooooooooooooo much in common, including they both have herpes! Isn't that great?" I couldn't get get outta there fast enough and where was my Purell and Lysol? Some people find the happiest things in the most (pun intended) odd places. YUCK.

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