Delete: Elitist Foodies

America loves to eat, but the various ways that we express our love for sustenance never ceases to amaze me. With the help of the Food Network, gourmet food driven publications, and the increasing hype of the restaurant scene, a new breed of food lover has emerged, the elitist foodie.

Though these terms can be mutually exclusive, the elitist foodie is recognizable immediately upon first impression. These are the folks that will spend obscene amounts of money to eat at only the most reviewed and expensive restaurants, that feel that their compulsive obsessions with the food network and Gourmet magazine have accredited them with a certified culinary expertise.

"Waiter:...Welcome to Chili's..
Elitist Foodie #1: *fake British accent* You know, I think you should really consider adding caramelized truffle oil with beluga caviar to your menu. It is the best way to up the reputation of any restaurant.
Elitist Foodie #2: I completely agree, what a great business tip dear!
Waiter:*blinks in silence*."

What happened to appreciating food that tastes good? Plain and simple?

And don't even bother ordering something normal off of the menu when you are out to dinner with this type of person, because chances are they are going to judge you for your inferior meal choice, ultimately establishing some kind of awkward digestive hierarchy that will come through in conversation throughout the duration of the meal.

A consolation to us members of the 'lower class', people like this will eat anything if you tell them it's rare and expensive. You could sell them a flaming bag of shit if was advertised as "Merde A Flambe".

Delete.